I HATE ART! (Rant alert!!)

Well, ok, I love art but its the subject itself I hate right now I'm crying because I just can't draw realistical I've tried and I can't, not only that but it has to be me, I hate me, the way I look, ym personality, everything, looking at my own face makes me feel physically sick and I've now got to do a realistic drawing of myself and I can't, I know it sounds like all of those 'oh, i'm so ugly' things but its not I don't think i'm that ugly, I don't wear anymake up to hide my true face I dress my own way not like everyone else but I still can't stand me. I have litterally just knifed my book while trying to I don't feel anything, not only that but my art teacher  is giving me detention because I haven't done this yet but I hate myself that much that i can't I just don't want it anymore, I just can't stand it. I don't fucking get it, why does it have to be realism, I understand that its what everybody does but for fucks sake this book is called 'identity' isn't it suppoused to reflect me?! What use is that if I can't even draw in the way I have been since I discorved anime, which is about 4 years! Yeah, 4 fucking years! I know, many of yo've been doing anime and manga styled drawing for long but there taking me away all I think about is anime, hell! I just got my hair cut super  short because I couldn't be bothered to buy a wig! Yeah, I go that far, cutting my hair for cosplay I live for anime and you say I can't do my book in anime style?! Oh and then I found the college I should be coing to have <bold> FUCKING BANNED ANIME</bold> Yeah, you heard me, they banned it! why, because they don't think its a proper fucking art form! I resent that1 So many artists on here do that awesome style of drawing, Its the fucking best in my opinion I think it counts as art but why don't you? Ever heard of Roy Lichenstein? Isn't his work in a comic book style? HE'S WORLD FUCKING FAMOUS! So, Why I can't I draw how I want in a book thats about me?! You marked my book and any peice of anime styled work would have a note saying "ANIME!!!" a.k.a GET THIS SHIT OUT! I don't like dead lines in art that makes thing worse, You WERE my faviourite teacher, now I think i alomost hate you! You made me cry and I've just fucking sliced my book with a kife in fustration you put so much pressure on me because I don't have as much work because I came in half way through year ten, WELL I'M FUCKING SORRY ITS ONLY I HAD TO MOVE BECAUSE MY FUCKING DAD TRIED TO KILL ME!!!! I don't deal well with pressure, and me being the stupid little fuck I am thought Wales would be easier, I wouldn't have to deal with my dad and that bitch of a step-mum but no! I have the worlds fucking worst art teacher! My old art teacher let me do anime, and that was on art history not my own fucking identity, you made one of your students cry I hate you. I really do I hate you! Some of this is teenage angst I geuss but I dont like pressure and I can't do this I just don't want to am at the point of never wanting to hold another pencil ever again because of you, yeah I'm thinking about dropping my faviourite subject, faviourite hobby, because of you. I don't want to look at my fave anymore ok1 I hate it I feel sick, psyically sick! I can't do it! I give u, I FUCKING GIVE UP. I can't do this shit. Rant over. bye. T.T